Your spouse comes to you and says your family is missing something. Although, life is grand, there’s just one thing that will push it over the top. A puppy! Every family needs a dog. I mean they are man’s best friend, right? They are fluffy, cute, loyal, and a wonderful companion. Why should there even be a discussion? We should all just run out and get a puppy (or maybe two) right now!
This is at least the conversation I had with my husband multiple times over the past two years of our marriage. He has been begging for a little furry friend since we moved into our home. When the topic first came up, I completely avoided it like the plague. However, the pictures of cute dogs kept appearing on my phone and he still longingly desired a companion to run to him when he got home from work (Apparently, I didn’t show enough enthusiasm when he walked through the door). I still stood firm on my no pet stance and decided to get pregnant instead. I gave him a really cute son last year thinking this would solve our puppy woes. I was wrong.
Last month, I had a lapse in judgment and agreed to let a dog into our home. There were probably a million questions I should have asked myself before I agreed, but I’m pretty sure he brainwashed me, so I would say yes. Therefore, I want to protect other mamas and papas out there who are on the fence about getting a pet.
In my opinion, these are probably the most important questions you need to ask yourself before you let a ball of fur into your home:
Do you have a toddler? In fact, do you have any type of small human roaming around your home? If yes, then do not get a puppy. Honestly, this should be enough to make you avoid a puppy. A baby is so much work. They cry, throw stuff, fall a lot, cry, poop their pants, etc. Nobody’s got time for a puppy when they’re dealing with that! Let’s be real folks, you’re already trying to stay afloat… why throw a puppy onto your raft with you?
Do you have a clingy toddler? My son is a stage five clinger. Literally, attached to my hip 98% of the day. I go to the bathroom, oh, look who is right behind me. I try to sneak a piece of chocolate, oh, look who is standing there pointing at the evidence. Guess who can also be super clingy? Puppies. Puppies are pretty much really hairy babies. My puppy follows me everywhere. I literally have two little things following me around all day like I’m some kind of celebrity (the hot mess kind- you know, the one who hasn’t showered in a while and is wearing the same shirt three days straight). Sometimes I’m truly flattered, but usually I just want to pee in peace. Can I get an amen?!
Do you like your neighbors? This is an important one. I like my neighbors, but sometimes when I have a baby attached to my leg screaming for my attention and a puppy running around me tangling me up in his leash, the last person I want to see is a neighbor. However, they always pop up out of the bushes… with another dog. So, now we have two dogs, two leashes, and a baby. With out fail, the three of them get tangled together Every. Single. Time.
Do you like poop? Oh you don’t? Okay, then don’t get a dog. They poop. They poop a lot. You’re already cleaning one (or more) person’s poop multiple times a day. Why on this beautiful earth would you ever willingly decide to add on another thing that is far from self sufficient and requires you to also pick up its poop multiple times a day? WHY?! Seriously, don’t do that to yourself. You may be like me and only have a couple more years left of poopy diapers! Well, dogs will always require you to clean up their poop. ALWAYS! Young or old. They just will never be able to pick up their own poop. They just can’t. Sorry to break the news to you.
Are you prepared to give up sleep that you just got back? When you have a baby, everyone and their mom will tell you you’ll never sleep again. And, they are correct. Babies like to be up at night. Sometimes they even think nighttime is more fun than daytime. However, if you are a lucky one, your baby will realize nothing happens at 4 a.m. and will start sleeping for 12 hours straight! It really can happen! I’m proof! My son started sleeping through the night and I finally got to take out the caffeine IV and be a normal functioning human again. Then, the puppy arrived. And, you know what? Puppies are like newborns. They wake up at night to say hi. Or to poop. This can be worse than a newborn because not only do you have to get out of bed, you also have to go OUTSIDE. It can be cold outside. It can be wet outside. There can be a hurricane, but that doesn’t stop that little pup from having to pee then roll around in the wet muddy grass for five minutes.
I’m hoping if time travel ever becomes successful and I go back in time that I will read this blog post before agreeing to a puppy. I love my little fluffy Cockapoo, but some days (usually when it’s raining) and the sun hasn’t even risen, I kneel down to scoop up a nice big pile of poop and think to myself, if only I had stuck to just one glass of wine (instead of three) the night he asked if we could get a puppy!
Curse you wine! Curse your manipulative powers.
About Philly Baby Bump Guest Contributor Julianne Thomas
Bio: Julianne was hired as a professional stay at home mom on April 15, 2014. She is a Philly native, but now resides in the suburbs with her husband, one year old son, and her 17 week old puppy (Lord, help her!).
She considers a successful day one where she gets to brush her teeth and take a shower. Her life has been turned upside down since her son’s arrival, but [most days] she wouldn’t trade it for anything in the world!
Julianne’s Blog: Who’s Raising Whom?
Follow Julianne: Instagram@julianne_t